Political Commentary and Opinion
This Section will look at Battered Men and their stories and how the Laws and Society have treated them for being Abused and the insane value-less stupidity of society.
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl
When David Reimer was eight months old he suffered a botched circumcision which destroyed his penis. Desperate for help, David's parents sought the advice of sexologist Dr. John Money. Money, who believes that children are born psychosexually neutral, convinced David's parents to have their son completely castrated and raised as a female. Because David had an identical twin who was being raised as a boy, it was an ideal test case for the popular feminist idea that it is nurture, not nature, which differentiates between males and females. David's mother Janet says of her first outing with her the first public outing with her baby 'girl':
"I got some fabric and started sewing dresses. He was trying to rip off the dress and I thought, 'Oh, my God, what have I done?' " While Money and others trumpeted the alleged "success" of the experiment, David suffered an agonizing childhood, finally learning the truth about himself at age 15. David struggled through the subsequent years, and described his ordeal as being "like brainwashing...I'd give just about anything to go to a hypnotist to black out my whole past. Because it's torture. What they did to you in the body is sometimes not near as bad as what they did to you in the mind with the psychological warfare in your head." A few weeks ago David committed suicide.
Dr. Milton Diamond of the University of Hawaii is a longtime critic of Dr. Money's theories. Fox News Columnist Wendy McElroy is the author of Death by Theory? A tragic suicide disproves a feminist theory and is a critic of the idea that gender can be reassigned through social conditioning. Diamond and McElroy joined Glenn on His Side with Glenn Sacks on Sunday, June 6. To listen to the archive, click here and scroll down to "Listen to the Show."
To learn more, see:
1) The Associated Press' "Canadian man raised as a girl commits suicide at 38" (5/12/04)
2) Wendy McElroy's Death by Theory? A tragic suicide disproves a feminist theory (Fox News, 5/26/04)
3) Dr. Milton Diamond's Sex Reassignment at Birth: A Long Term Review and Clinical Implications (Archives of Pediatric &Adolescent Medicine, March 1997, vol. 151. pp.298-304) (co-authored by H. Keith Sigmundson, M.D).
4) Jesse Walker's The Death of David Reimer: A tale of sex, science, and abuse (Reason magazine, (5/24/04)
5) John Colapinto's The True Story of John/Joan (Rolling Stone, 12/11/97)
6) John Money: Hero or Anti-Hero (New Zealand Edge, 5/21/04).
7) National Public Radio's Melissa Block talks with John Colapinto--Remembering David Reimer (NPR audio, 5/13/04)
8) Carey Roberts' Told to Act Like a Girl (IFeminists.com, 5/19/04)
9) Man &Woman, Boy &Girl, by John Money, Anke A. Ehrhardt (Contributor)
10) John Colapinto's "Gender Gap: What were the real reasons behind David Reimer's suicide?"
Other News reports
In 1967, an anonymous baby boy was turned into a girl by doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital. For 25 years, the case of John/Joan was called a medical triumph — proof that a child’s gender identity could be changed — and thousands of “sex reassignments” were performed based on this example. But the case was a failure, the truth never reported. Now the man who grew up as a girl tells the story of his life, and a medical controversy erupts.
You have to ask where was "Dr. John Money" thinking at. This is the kind of thinking that's compatible with socialism, or any type of society that seeks to erase traditional or inherent norms with secular progressive values - like feminism, for example. It plain to see men and children get abused at any cost for this socialist society.
Dr. John Money opportunity to try to prove his theory in an experiment, failed and now a person's life is destroyed. Feminists were the ones who debased our language, replacing the word "sex" (in the sense of inherent biological differences between male and female) with "gender" - a total mis-use of the word, and which has to do with *social* differences between men and women.
The reason feminists use "gender" is to propagate the notion that there are no inherent biological differences between the sexes - that the distinction is based merely on nurture not nature, which advances their pie-in-the-sky goal of a sex-less equality. In Canada, which has a much more socialist society than the US, this type of thinking is more acceptable in the mainstream, and was therefore tragically allowed to become reality.
In March 1997 article in the Archives of Adolescent and Pediatric Medicine. Authors Milton Diamond, a biologist at the University of Hawaii, and Keith Sigmundson, a psychiatrist from Victoria, British Columbia, documented how the twin had struggled against his imposed girlhood from the start. The paper set off shock waves in medical circles around the world, generating furious debate about the ongoing practice of sex reassignment (a procedure more common than anyone might think). It also raised troubling questions about the way the case was reported in the first place, why it took almost 20 years for a follow-up to reveal the actual outcome and why that follow-up was conducted not by Dr. Money but by outside researchers. The answers to these questions, fascinating for what they suggest about the mysteries of sexual identity, also bring to light a 30-year rivalry between eminent sex researchers, a rivalry whose very bitterness not only dictated how this most unsettling of medical tragedies was exposed but also may, in fact, have been the impetus behind the experiment in the first place.
http://web.archive.org/web/20050308094718/http://www.infocirc.org/rollston.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20050308094718/http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1084201131913_27/?hub=
Winnipeg man raised as a girl takes own life
CTV.ca News Staff
David Reimer, a Winnipeg man born a boy but raised a girl after a botched circumcision, took his own life last week. He was 38.
Reimer, who was baptized Bruce, was raised until the age of 14 as a girl named Brenda on the advice of a sex researcher at Johns Hopkins Hospital.
Dr. John Money believed that gender identity was determined more by nurture than nature, and he took Reimer's botched circumcision as an opportunity to try to prove his theory in an experiment known as the John/Joan case in the 1960s and '70s.
Money advised Reimer's parents to give their son female hormones and raise him as a girl. His development was followed closely, and compared to his identical twin brother, Brian, who was raised as a boy.
Reimer struggled with his identity into his teens. He was teased for his gunslinger stride and lack of interest in boys. Doctors told her the discomfort was due to passing "tomboyishness."
When finally told the truth at the age of 14, Reimer rebelled and resumed his male identity. He changed his name to David, eventually married and became a stepfather to three children.
His story was told by author John Colapinto, who wrote As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl. Reimer said it was important to raise the troubling issue of sexual reassignment -- a topic he brought to the Oprah
Winfrey show.
His mother, Janet, said he had recently become depressed after losing his job and separating from his wife. She said he was also still grieving the death of his brother two years earlier.
"He managed to have so much courage," Ms. Reimer said yesterday. "I think he felt he had no options. It just kept building up and building up."
She blames the gender study for her son's death.
The wounds inflicted on Patsy Rogers (right) in 1997
when he was attacked by his wife with a 10-inch flick-knife
Women more likely to act violently in the home
By GRAINNE CUNNINGHAM
- WOMEN are more likely to initiate violence and much more likely to inflict severe violence, a US relationships expert told a conference yesterday. Dr Warren Farrell, PhD, author of books including The Myth of Male Power said in 54 studies, some of them by female researchers, women themselves acknowledged that they were more likely to be violent, to initiate the violence and to engage in severe violence that was not reciprocated. The theme of the conference organized by AMEN, the organization for male victims of domestic abuse, opened by Junior Minister Mary Wallace, was: ``It's Also a Crime to Beat a Man.''
The founder of AMEN, Mary T Cleary, presented the findings of a study based in Co Monaghan. Some 100 men responded to the survey and the organisation has dealt with 40 of them. The men, who came from all walks of life, including farming and the professions all felt the need for ``a safe place'' to take themselves and their children when incidents in the home became particularly abusive. Mrs. Cleary said the men wanted the State agencies, in particular the health boards, gardai and the legal system to take the problem of male victims of domestic abuse seriously and believed mainstream funding should be provided on an equal basis for male and female victims of domestic violence.
Of those surveyed, 73pc had suffered injuries such as wounds or scalding Some of the threats commonly made were that if they left home they would never see their children again. A high proportion had false allegations of crimes, such as sexual abuse of children or wives, made against them. Mrs. Cleary said that ``the progress that has been made to date in highlighting this issue and providing services for abused men has been achieved almost entirely by our voluntary efforts''. She complained that while Government and State services accepted it was a serious issue they continued to deny AMEN funding.
Erin Pizzey who opened the first refuge in the world in London, for women who were victims of domestic abuse addressed the conference on violence in intimate relationships. Speakers also included Owen McIntyre, BL of the Law Society and the Law Reform Committee and author and journalist John Waters, a central figure in the debate on fathers and men in society. Stab victim lost half of lung after wife's attack A DUNDALK man had half his lung removed after his wife stabbed him in the back at their home in 1997. Patsy Rogers is chairperson of the Dundalk branch of AMEN, the organization for male victims of domestic abuse, which held its second conference in the Ardboyne Hotel, Navan, yesterday. His wife went on trial for the stabbing offence in June 1998. She was convicted of actual bodily harm and received a nine-month suspended sentence.
``My name was destroyed in the courts,'' he said. Mr. Rogers, the father of three daughters, said abuse generally begins verbally and can go on to pushing and shoving. His wife took the children away to England before Christmas Eve one year. On the day of the stabbing, he did not hear his wife approach him across the tiled floor in their kitchen when she stabbed him. ``I felt a thump in my back as I thought and turned around,'' said Mr. Rogers. His shirt turned red with the blood. He put his hand around to see what was happening and felt the handle of a 10-inch flick knife. He got across to the neighbors to call the emergency services and stumbled out onto the road where he collapsed.
``At this stage I thought my life was over,'' he said. But after two operations, one to remove part of his lung, and a few weeks in intensive care in the Mater Hospital, he survived. His experience, along with accounts he has heard since joining AMEN 18 months ago, led him to believe that the courts are biased against men. ``I know and I think everybody else knows if I committed that crime and committed that injury there is no way I would have got a nine-months suspended sentence,'' said Mr Rogers. He wakes up with nightmares due to the trauma. ``Every time I go into the kitchen, I relive the nightmare of the blood and the knife in my back,'' he said. He lives in the family home with his daughters having obtained a barring order but his wife still lives only 500 yards away.
Sunday Mail
(Brisbane, Australia) Sunday Magazine Pages 6 & 7
28 March 1999
Violent Women
By Lynnette Haas
Domestic violence is usually seen as inflicted on women by men. But a fictional book and some research say the abused victim is quite often the man. Lynnette Haas reports. These days, more so than before, author and journalist Matthew Condon finds people want to take him aside to tell him their stories. At parties, in pubs, at literary festivals, Condon has found himself acting as a de facto counsellor as friends, acquaintances and strangers confide distressing secrets they'd previously kept to themselves. He's become a confidante because his latest novel, The Pillow Fight, a powerful fictional tale of domestic violence, has clearly struck a chord with some readers who feel their experiences have been ratified by the drama in his pages.
But there's a controversial element to this scenario in that Condon's novel turns the tables on the accepted notion of domestic violence. In The Pillow Fight it is the female partner, a successful and beautiful young wife named Charlotte, who is striking the blows. And it's the male partner, the naive but totally smitten Luke, who is the victim. So, in turn, Condon's conversations have been with men who have admitted being victims of domestic abuse and, in a few cases, women who confess to being perpetrators. And what he's heard has shocked and saddened him. "You have almost ended up being a shoulder to cry on," says Condon, who describes most men in question as "ostensibly the Aussie bloke". By and large, they've been professional people. I've had lawyers. I've had media people who have come out of nowhere and have quietly confided their confirmation of the novel. I have a friend who had a carving knife pulled on him and put to his throat. You just don't hear or read these stories."
Try to uncover more of those stories in an effort to draw a clearer picture of the prevalence and nature of female-to-male domestic violence and you're confronted with two very different and conflicting schools of thought. There is research that says it exists, and that it occurs in significant numbers - and there are the welfare groups, the frontline workers, who say it doesn't. International research on female-male domestic violence has been extensive since a 1980s landmark study by sociologists Strauss, Gelles and Steinmetz outlined its persuasiveness.
That study, Behind, Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family, revealed that of couples reporting domestic abuse, 49% of spouses admitted they were both violent. When questioned about the specifics of the incidents in the previous year, 27% of men claimed they were the sole perpetrators of that violence, compared to 24% of women. In instances of so-called severe violence, 3.8% of wives were identified as victims, while 4.6% of husbands were victims. In the Sunshine State [Queens land, Australia], similar large-scale research has been scant. In 1988 the Queens land Domestic Violence Taskforce, researching male-female abuse, reported that 6.2% of domestic violence victims were male. The Victorian Injury Surveillance System last year concluded that of 372victims of "partner-inflicted violence" identified by several hospitals76.1% were female and 23.9% were male. It further concluded: "The admission rate was 14.6% for male and 10.9% for females, suggesting that a greater proportion of males received more severe injuries".
In an ongoing study of 198 violent marriages in rural Australia, Charles Sturt University associate professor of sociology Sotirios Sarantakos identified 64 abused husbands. Through a series of intense interviews, conducted over many years, with the husband, the wife, one of the couple's children over 16 and one of the wife's parents (usually the mother), Sarantakos investigated the claim that most female-male abuse is self-defense - that the male victim physically encourages the attack. He found otherwise.
"The vast majority of abusive wives admitted they did not hit their husband in self-defense, " Sarantakos writes in 'Husband Abuse as Self-Defense', a paper presented at the International Congress of Sociology in Canada last year. "They did not feel threatened by the husband even after they assaulted him and were not in need (of) protection from the husband. This is by no means a situation which justifies violence against the husband and certainly (is) not self-defense. "However, many of the major domestic violence help organizations are unconvinced by these findings Relationships Australia executive director Ian MacDonald says while he accepts female-to-male abuse does occur, he sees it "at a minuscule rate, compared with male-to-female violence that's reported to us". However, he agrees men would have trouble admitting their victim status.
"I wouldn't say it's more difficult (than for women), but I think it is difficult for men," MacDonald says." There is that additional block of him feeling that somehow his masculinity is impugned because he hasn't defended himself and he hasn't behaved "like a man". That is a very difficult position. And the reported (skeptical) position response of police to that situation does tend to indicate that men are feeling extremely awkward about exposing himself to that. "Meeta Iyer, director of the Domestic Violence Research Centre at Brisbane's inner-city West End, says since July 1998 the centre has received only five calls from male victims seeking counselling or information. That's from a total of about 700 or 800 help calls. She doesn't believe that those five calls misrepresent the overall incidence. "While there is a lot of information out there that says men find it difficult to talk about domestic violence, I think it is the same (for women)," she says. "I believe (this figure) is indicative of true victims of domestic violence who are men." That victims can be "true" or "real" is a point emphasized by the Men's Domestic Violence Telephone Counselling Service. Peter, (who won't reveal his surname) has been with the service since its inception in 1996.
He says the service primarily fields calls from men "who are perpetrators of domestic violence, with 20% of incoming calls from men who say they're the aggrieved spouse". Peter says there is a difference between male-female and female-male violence. Most abused males do not fear their partner's attacks, he says and seem to be part of a mutually violent relationship. When asked whether there were situations in which men refrained from hitting back and merely copped the attacks, Peter replied: "We do get those guys but I can't tell what they're doing themselves or what they're doing back."
There is a Queens land organization which fully supports the notion of female-male violence. The Waterford-based Men's Rights Agency, run by husband and wife team, Regand Sue Price, has in the past been ridiculed as right-wing extremist for its stance on family issues. But the self-funded organization remains the only one nationwide that is completely sympathetic and open to abused men. Sue Price says: "A small amount of (government) money is given to male perpetrator programs but there is nothing for men (victims) who need help. If a man comes to me with his children in tow, trying to escape the violence the wife is exhibiting, we have nowhere to send him, apart from the internal type of refuge system we're trying to build, where people who have a home, a large home, will willingly offer some emergency accommodation to people in that situation."] Having helped men through various personal crises, Price is convinced may men will never report their abuse at the hands of a woman. "The last time we had an article published (about domestic violence) I had one guy ring me, " she says. "We'd been talking to him eight months and he finally acknowledged to me that he was a victim of his wife's domestic violence. We'd been talking to him for eight months and he wouldn't acknowledge it until he saw the article." Another man who finally chose to speak about his abuse is a Queens land freelance journalist, identified here as Peter X. Peter X lived in a violent relationship for four years before finally fronting up to Police,
after a particularly brutal assault. "I copped a lot before I took physical measures to just stop being beaten, "he says. "The violence had gone from the mere slaps and punches to sustained beating. Basically, I cringe when I say it, (but) I feared for my safety and I had to take defensive measures to stop that." The first time Peter X says he took a "defensive measure" was when his partner was jumping on his back in her stiletto heels. He says he threw an ashtray at the window and soon after the police arrived. Peter X , who hadn't fought back in any way, was taken away. A Domestic Violence Order was issued against him. But, as in many cases of domestic violence, Peter X eventually was reunited with his partner, who promised
to control her outbursts. She didn't. And, as in all cases of domestic violence, the detached outsider can't help but ask why the victim didn't remove himself (or herself) from the situation sooner. Did he think he could change her? "A fool in love thinks that," Peter X says. "The wise person knows things don't really change." Things didn't change in that relationship and Peter X finally realized he could take the uncertainly no longer. Since leaving his partner, he's told his story on radio and in print and is constantly amazed to find out he's not alone. Men across the country regularly seek him out for support. "In getting embroiled in (the issue of female-male domestic violence) I came across guy after guy who has actually been on the receiving end," he says. "But, they never really want to come forward because people regard you as a wimp, not for being hit by a woman, but for complaining. It seems to be that women's violence is acceptable in a sense." And if not quite accepted, says Dr Sotirios Sarantakos, then it is at least overlooked.
"I think the sad part is the way husband abuse is treated at the moment is exactly the way wife abuse was treated 30 years ago," he says. "We were trying to bring wife abuse to the forefront to put it in the focus of policies and make people aware of what was happening ... But (men) didn't want to hear about it. It was a domestic matter. Men (said we) shouldn't get involved and feminists were angry. We were talking about how women deserved it or whatever. That was not true. Of course it was not true. We've got the same problem now. They ignore this. (They say) it doesn't exist and if it does exist they're blaming the victim." But Sarantakos wants to emphasize any type of abuse - be it male-female, female-male, father-son, daughter-mother or violence within same-sex couples- should be of concern to the wider community. It shouldn't be dismissed on the grounds of gender. Matthew Condon and Peter X agree.
"All domestic violence is a crime and it's a human issue," says Condon. "I'm opposed to domestic violence against men and I'm strongly opposed to domestic violence against women," says Peter X. "There should be structures to protect both sexes. To ignore one isn't solving the problem."
Commentary from Sue Price:
Note the "minimizations techniques used by Ian MacDonald of Relationships Australia (Queens land), Meeta Iyer of the DVRC and "Peter "from the Men's DV Telephone line. MacDonald, I would venture to suggest, exhibits, by the use of certain words, a typical attitude, similar to his associate, Dawson Ruhl, also with Relationships Australia (Western Australia), who said at the Canberra Men's Relationship Conference (June 1998):
"Don't worry - I've taken care of all three [men who are victims]!" He indicate by his words - "because he hasn't defended himself and he hasn't behaved 'like a man'" - that he expects the masculine response to be aggressive and exhibiting violence. Now that is utter nonsense. I would suggest exactly the opposite could be expected from MOST men - they will not retaliate or protect themselves for fear of hurting the woman and upsetting their children if they are present. Typically,* it is only at the extreme limit of their endurance that they might lash out, and it is usually spontaneous, not the planned, cold-blooded killing we are being asked to accept as okay if a woman says she is a victim of domestic violence. (* I am not talking about the few who have a pathological problem.) Men have been taught throughout their life, "never hit a woman". That's how most men have been raised though I do detect some changes in standards, particularly in younger men, under thirty, who have been raised in single parent, mostly female headed households and taught at school and in the media that boys and men are somehow inherently dysfunctional. They seem to be at a loss as to how to handle their masculinity and their strength, not realizing, as Dr Malcolm George (UK) puts it, "while being male may give the power to be strong, it can also give the strength to be gentle" [Journal of Men's Studies Vol. 5, No 4 May 1997 pp 295-313].
Their confusion is understandable; having been subject to years of male denigration they are being raised with the expectation that they will be violent. Little wonder then when they live up to the characterizations and judgment society has already handed down for them. The above commentary is by way of background to part of the problem. I have serious doubts that the Australian federal government money allocated, after the Canberra Men's Forum, will be put to good use and to the benefit of men. This is particularly so when it is delivered into the hands of organizations like Relationships Australia, whose attitude towards men is public ally based on an extremely pro-feminist ideology that portrays men as little more than perpetrators of violence. Perhaps a few complaints could be directed, by those in Australian, to the Attorney-General, who was in charge of the primary selection process, or the Family Relationship Department, that
has recently been moved from the Attorney-General's to Jocelyn Newman's portfolio, within the Department of Social Security. Note also, that research readily supports the fact of women's family violence, but it is the advocacy groups, of many different types (feminist, counselling, legal, etc) that seek to tell society that there is no problem- other than men's natures and violence.
Unfortunately, much research into domestic violence (like the Australian Bureau of Statistics study several years ago) only questions women and ignores men and their experiences completely, and so, unsurprisingly, conclude that only women experience such abuse and violence. It is not unexpected that men only minimally report family violence to groups such as Relationship Australia and the DVRC that obviously, by their public pronouncements, don't want to see or admit that men have a problem and that some women are violent. In this regard, it is telling that the rate of reporting to the Men's Domestic Violence Telephone Counselling Service is 20% - and even this rate of reporting is probably inhibited by their stereo typical blaming of men and efforts to minimize women's violence.
The MRA may be contacted at
:Men's Rights Agency
P.O. Box 28, Waterford Qld 4133 Australia
Simon Fraser University, Media and Public Relations
July 29, 1999 Vol . 15, No. 8 Spousal abuse rates similar for men, women, study finds Men and women report similar rates of violence perpetration and victimization, says the first Canadian study that investigated the matter. "And, while more comprehensive study is needed, it appears that a substantial proportion of women's violence cannot be explained as acts of self-defense," says the study. Gender Differences in Patterns of Relationship Violence in Alberta by graduate student Marilyn Kwong (below) and psychology professor Kim Bartholomew of SFU and Donald Dutton of UBC, was published in the July issue of Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science. Kwong, who has just completed the first year of her MA in clinical psychology, says the research shows "that we need to be aware that this kind of survey research picks up on a type of violence that's not necessarily as extreme as the violence we commonly think about in terms of the battered woman."
She says many media stories conflate survey rates of domestic violence with the common perception of the battered woman. This implies that a substantial proportion of men are extremely violent to their wives, "and that's just not accurate." There certainly are very violent men out there, but in reporting the survey rates and confounding them with the common perception of the battered woman, the media leaves the impression that the survey finds a greater percentage of men batter their wives than is actually the case. The majority of the violence reported by these women is minor. Kwong says violence can happen against men and the public should be open to different forms of violence that may take place in the family. "We shouldn't reject any notion outside that of the battered women one. I think men have a right to have services available to them, but they just don't have anything to go to."
Data for the research was collected in Alberta in 1987 through telephone and one-on-one interviews. About 700 people were surveyed. Similar surveys have been done in the U.S. Kwong says there were similarities between U.S. and Alberta surveys in rates of violence, both perpetrated and received by men and women. The violence includes everything from a push or shove, to using a knife or a gun. "The majority of violence reported is minor," she says. "Women slap more and men might grab or hold the woman down, but generally, the nature of the violence is not much different." © Simon Fraser University, Media and Public Relations
Hitting Home - Domestic Violence
Men are victims of domestic violence at the hands of both female and male partners.
I feel like the only one
You may feel as if you're the only man who has ever experienced domestic violence but you're not alone. Although research shows that it is mainly women, this doesn't mean that men don't suffer too.
Figures on the extent of male victims vary considerably so it's difficult to state with any accuracy the true extent. However, the 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found 19% of domestic violence incidents were reported to be male victims with just under half of these being committed by a female abuser.
It may be hard to admit to yourself and to others that this is happening to you but it's not your fault and you can get help.
You can read the personal stories of other men in your same situation at Your Stories.
Are there differences in how men and women experience domestic violence?
There are both similarities and differences. Some of the responses to violence from a partner are the same. Whoever you are, being hurt by someone you love and trust can be devastating. You may feel bewildered and confused. You may wonder if it's your fault. You may feel too ashamed or embarrassed to tell anyone. If you do tell, you may find that you are not believed or that your abuse is trivialised. For all victims of abuse, the message is the same...
- You are not alone.
- It is not your fault.
- Help is available.
If you don't find the right help immediately, it's important that you keep looking until you find someone who can support you at this difficult time. It doesn't make you weak to ask for help.
There are also important differences that can often be lost when we assume that what we know about women experiencing domestic violence automatically applies to male victims too. For example, many abused men may feel that they aren't 'real men' if they admit to having experienced abuse.
What help is available?
Men have exactly the same rights as women to be safe in their own homes. All statutory services (such as the Police, Crown Prosecution Service, Housing Department and Social Services) have a duty to provide services to all - male or female.
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| If you're worried you may be in an abusive relationship, you may like to assess your relationship with our quick test. |
Men are protected by exactly the same laws as women - anyone who has assaulted another person, regardless of the gender of either, can be prosecuted. If you are a man experiencing domestic violence and you need emergency help you can call the Police on 999.
For more on Legal issues, Housing or Social services see our Practical Help section. Please note, however, that if you are a gay man (or lesbian), you may not be covered by the Family Law Act. Seek legal advice to clarify your position. What about my children?
The family courts deal with all child contact disputes on a case by case basis. Evidence of domestic violence will be taken into account and decisions about residence and contact made accordingly.
Recent research shows that men are rarely denied their parental rights by the courts. If you're concerned for the welfare of any child you can contact Social Services, ChildLine's freephone helpline 0800 1111 or the NSPCC freephone helpline on 0808 800 5000.
External sites Help for victims
BBC Action Line
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised on this website, and you need to talk to someone in confidence, you can call the BBC Action Line on 08000 934 934 seven days a week between 7.30am and midday.