Political Commentary
Gardner was a brave man for trying to describe an evil system that mutates common sense, compassion and unconditional love.
Our children are beautiful …..and hunted by a ruthlessly judicial sledgehammers supplied by Radical feminist.…the actual Weapons of Mass Destruction are not hidden in Iraq ! They are publicly listed in your phonebooks and hide their hate with political correctness with their socialist feminist Misandry!
From: Joan T. Kloth
Sent: July 12, 2004 10:20 AM
To: beaconviewpoint@suburbanchicagonews.com; PAS2ndWivesClub@yahoogroups.com; DivorceStrategyCentral@yahoogroups.com
Mom's Seek Reform in Family Court
Dear Editor of the Beacon:
Carr's recent article on Mom's seeking reform is riddled with inaccuracy's. The first one being that Dr. Gardner is from California . He was from Creskill , NJ . Secondly, he authorized himself because he had an extremely debilitating neurological disease. The pain from this disease could no longer be controlled with medication. How do I know this? Because I knew doctor Gardner and his family personally.
As for PAS, as with any issue, this is not gender specific to only women or men. Yes, in the beginning, women were more likely to commit PAS against their ex-spouses. But more and more we are seeing Men do the same thing. This does not make it right or wrong, it just makes it sick.
PAS is very real and very much alive. I am not saying these women did or did not commit PAS with their children. But what I will tell you is that if they repeatedly denied visitation with their children and the father, that is PAS. If they repeatedly denigrated and bad-mouthed the father in front of the children, that is PAS. If they repeatedly filed false allegations of abuse, that were repeatedly determined to be false, that is PAS. If they isolated and alienated the children not only from the father but his family because they insisted on a relationship with the kids, that is PAS. If they told the children lies about the father and his extended family in an attempt to build hatred and anger toward their father and his family. That is PAS. If they were repeatedly court ordered to get counseling, or allow visitation or to ensure holiday time and they refused to comply or cooperate that is PAS. If every time the father came to pick up his children, they were not there or not available or she refused to turn them over, that is PAS. If the children are used as pawns and exploited to hurt their father, that is PAS. When a child is threatened with loss of his mother's love, if he/she professes wanting to see their father, this is PAS. And when you add this all up, it is also the list for Psychological Maltreatment.
It is a very rare case that a father can prove PAS has occurred without clear evidence of interference by the mother. In fact, my husband's case has gone on for over 8 years with everyone putting on blinders to the mother's psychological maltreatment of the children. The mediator tried to get her to comply with counseling and she refused. He threatened her with court, and instead she filed a bogus harassment complaint with a restraining order. After investigation by a Family Court Evaluator, it was determined that their was no Domestic Violence, that anything the children knew had been told to them by their mother and that the mother was deliberately impeding the children's relationship with the father. A recommendation for everyone to be in counseling was made. But the mother refused to comply. A second visitation evaluation was made and a court order for counseling was made. Again, the mother refused to comply. Contempt charges were filed but alias no charges. A court appointed attorney and a GAL are assigned to the case. The Court Appointed attorney court orders counseling along with orders for the mother to stop interfering with communication between the children and their father and she is to stop denigrating the father in front of the children. Again, the mother refuses to comply and actually impedes the process. Again, contempt charges are filed and again she gets away with it and again, the court appointed attorney court orders counseling. And again the mother refuses to comply. Again, contempt charges are filed and again she gets no charges. Next the GAL court orders counseling and again the mother impedes the process and refuses to comply and again she is not held accountable.
If my husband had done this, he would have been arrested in a heart beat. But because the mother has custody, she can do anything she pleases and not be penalized. In fact, one judge caught her committing perjury, fraud and forgery. It was made a matter of court record, but still no charges were pressed.
It has been 8 years of fighting to see my husband's children. He has barely seen them in 8 years. let alone not seen them since December 23, 1999. If this is not PAS, then what is? If this is not Psychological Maltreatment, as defined and legally classified by the laws that govern our land, then what is it?
Psychological maltreatment is defined as the following according to Kemp in his book Abuse in the Family. First he defines domestic violence as “A form of Maltreatment perpetrated by a person with whom the victim has or had a close personal relationship.” (Kemp, P.36) Furthermore, Kemp, categorizes Child Psychological Maltreatment as rejecting (spurring/degrading), terrorizing, corrupting, denying essential stimulation, denying emotional responsiveness, denying availability, unreliable and inconsistent parenting, mental health neglect, medical neglect, educational neglect, degrading/devaluing (spurring), isolating and exploiting. (Kemp, P. 74-77).
When you look at all the facts and figures, PAS is real. The problem is that the pendulum keeps swinging to the extremes instead of resting in the middle giving equal weight to both parents in raising their children. I have been working on several prevention and intervention programs that could help the courts and counselors to prevent the ravages of high conflict divorce from alienating the children from either parent. It is the selfish, narcissistic and low self-esteem of these parents, not just mother, but father's too, that impedes the healthy development our their own children. And until we start to work as a community collaborated effort with the courts, family and professionals all working together to prevent this type of abuse, it will continue to destroy the family courts system and the families that go their.
Joan T. Kloth
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/beaconnews/top/a12parents.htm
SuburbanChicagoNews.com
THE BEACON NEWS ONLINE
12 July, 2004
"Moms seek reforms in family court system"
By Gloria Carr STAFF WRITER
ELGIN — Everyday she waits.
Norma Perez waits for her 12-year-old daughter's homecoming.
The Illinois Supreme Court is considering an appeal which could grant her custody of the girl whom Perez lost in a bitter divorce case against her former husband, R. Edward Bates, two years ago. "I will wait as long as it takes," the Elgin woman said. "I am just so hopeful."
Her appeal to the Supreme Court centers on evidence her daughter's court appointed lawyer introduced — including allegations of a controversial pop-psychology theory, parental alienation syndrome or PAS. Perez's attorneys were not allowed to cross-examine the witnesses who alleged she alienated her daughter against Bates. Supreme Court justices heard Perez's appeal in late May. A decision is expected this fall.
"I think what we are experiencing is a flawed system all around and our children are the ones suffering," Perez said. The Perez-Bates case is generating national attention to the term PAS as well as focusing on the need to make reforms within family court.
PAS is a term coined by Dr. Richard A. Gardner in the late 1980s which theorizes a custodial parent — usually a mother — alienates children against the non-custodial parent — the father — by alleging sexual, emotional or physical abuse, according to Gardner's work.
Gardner 's theory has been used in contentious custody cases, yet it is not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association nor any other medical associations, according to published reports.
Gardner, a California psychologist, committed suicide last year.
Hundreds of cases
Annette Zender of Woodstock is a licensed foster parent who lost custody of her 12-year-old daughter two years ago due to PAS allegations made by the child's biological father, she said. Zender has spent eight years litigating the custody case, beginning in Minnesota . She was initially given sole custody but the father appealed to Illinois courts and sole custody was reversed to him, she said. Her daughter was moved out of state and has not had contact with Zender since then. Mothers accused of PAS are portrayed as "crazy" and stigmatizes as unfit to care for their children, Zender said. After her case, Zender began documenting 150 cases in Kane, DuPage, Lake and McHenry counties involving PAS. The main characters are different but the stories and experts are the same, she said. "The incredible thing is there are so many similarities between our stories, it is frightening," Perez said. "It's criminal" said Zender, who claims her daughter was legally kidnapped.
Complaints to state
Both Perez and Zender began focusing on the psychologists conducting evaluations on parents and children as well as the guardian ad litems or attorneys appointed by the court to represent the children. Zender said it is the same group of psychologists using PAS against mothers unable to defend themselves.
Each woman filed complaints within the past year against those psychologists with the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation.
Zender's accusations resulted in a seven-count complaint against Barrington psychologist Daniel DeWitt by the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation. The second count dealt specifically with Zender's case, accusing DeWitt of gross negligence in rendering of clinical psychological services and unethical and unprofessional conduct, according to records in the case.
Chris Ganschow, a spokesman for the Department of Professional Regulation, said a hearing is scheduled next month. DeWitt faces various penalties if the charges are proven, including a reprimand, a fee or probation, Ganschow said.
DeWitt's attorney, Barbara Weiner, countered that Zender "has made a career of complaining about the judge involved in this case, the other attorneys and two psychologists."
System needs reform
"These individuals giving recommendations to courts are basically immune," Perez said. "They can basically say anything they want and we can not defend ourselves."
The entire Illinois family court system needs reforms, Zender said. In Minnesota , a neutral psychologist conducts evaluations which are forwarded to a supervisor and then the court, Zender said. She said she wants a similar statute enacted in Illinois .
Additionally, court evaluators, guardian ad litems and judges need to be educated about domestic violence — which is at the core of the contentious custody battles and PAS, she said.
David Finn, of the Associates in Human Development Counseling in Rolling Meadows , agrees. He is a license professional counselor whose duties include conducting evaluations.
Finn said there are really no minimal standards for custody evaluators. One standard he feels is important is training in domestic violence and accurately investigating allegations of abuse. Domestic abuse — in varying forms of emotional, psychological or physical — can be used even after a divorce to control another person, he said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: NoJustice.info Editor [mailto: [ editor@nojustice.info ]
Sent: July 17, 2004 7:07 PM
CHICAGO: BEACON NEWS ONLINE: "Moms seek reforms in family court system"
The case below may not be true PAS, but it is an excellent example of indirect aggression by the mother. Indirect aggression, as we all should know, is a type of aggression that is preferred by the female sex.
Some definitions:
– An act intended to injure or IRRITATE another person
The use of indirect action always requires some kind of understanding of social relations and situations. Personal relations are often taken advantage of and action is camouflaged into something else. (Lagerspetz, Björkqvist, Peltonen, 1988,1989) Kaukiainen et. al (1999) defined indirect aggression as “noxious behavior in which the target person is attacked not physically or directly through verbal intimidation but in a circuitous way, through social manipulation” (Kaukiainen, et. al, 1999, p. 83)
- Aggression - behavior intended to hurt someone
- Hostile aggression - Aggression with the sole intention of hurting someone (emotional).
- Instrumental aggression - Aggression intended to accomplish some goal.
- Old definition - negative emotion produced when we do not get what we want.
- New definition - negative emotion produced by interrupting a person’s progress toward an expected goal.
- Weighing rewards and costs
The denial of the mostly female ownership of indirect aggression, which by far is more destructive than direct expression of aggression, which can often be seen as a reaction to the former, may in itself be the impetus to both forms: women who are made to believe that they are protected against detection will continue to use all means in their disposal to provoke their intimate male partners until they (the women) achieve their desired outcome, which at times may mean that the woman is the victim of minor or major physical or verbal assault, or of an alleged threat of an assault, or of a fear of potential future assault, in order to gain the upper hand during child custody and access litigations. I will illustrate below how indirect aggression can be used to put an end to contact between non-custodial fathers and their children while making it appear that the cessation of the contact is the fault of the fathers while the mothers are doing their best to encourage it.
One father's story:
A couple of days ago (mid-July 2004) I received a phone call from a father whose ex-wife had moved several years ago, in contempt of court, with the children to a distance which made regular contact impossible. However, at a tremendous financial sacrifice by him and his extended family the father was able to maintain contact by having the children fly over during school holidays and some long weekends.
Until now the two children would arrive together twice during the summer vacation for two week periods at a time. Even that was problematic as the father has only two weeks annual leave, which is mainly used up bit by bit during the long week-end visits. The paternal grandparents live in another location which is too far for daily commuting and they have to meet their own responsibilities, not to mention the fact that the father’s residence is not large enough to accommodate others in addition to the children. He is routinely notified of the visiting schedule only a few days in advance so it is not possible to make any child care arrangements, especially considering that the schedule often gets changed at the last minute. Thus, it is not possible to enroll the children in day-camps or any organized activities, and it is virtually impossible to find any child minders, never mind reliable ones, on such a short notice. The father has to either rely on the good will of his employer, whose patience is bound to run out sooner or later, and take unpaid time off work or take the children to work with him each day. There are not many men for whom either of the options is available. Law enforcement officials, who often have to answer calls to life threatening situations, manual laborers who work in construction or slaughter houses, just to give some of the extreme situations, will not be able to have the children to accompany them during their working hours.
A self employed man, say a doctor or a lawyer, will not only lose his income for the visiting period but his clients as well, while continuing to pay the mother for child support which includes the annual cost of child care even for the period that father is paying for a second child minder, if lucky, while the children are in his care or while he is losing his earnings for that period.
To continue with this father’s story: the children were sent on separate days for the latest visit, two months ago, though they returned to their mother together. Now, for the first summer visit, which is to take place within a few days, the mother has informed the father that the children will each spend a week with him, but separately, and they will have another week, together, at the end of the summer vacation. There is no doubt that separate visitations will be the nature in the future. Thus, the father will have to be available for twice the amount of time until now, which naturally will be an impossible feat to achieve, not to mention that the children will miss each other, being close in age (18 months apart) and thus most likely will begin to resent the visitation that separates them not only from each other but from their friends and sports activities as well.
Thus, this mother has achieved another fait accompli and succeeded in putting an end to the children’s contact with their father, while making it appear that she is allowing visitation but the father is unwilling to continue. Just like all the Department of Justice “researchers” have concluded.
I would be interested to know of similar stories. All correspondence will be treated as confidential.
Eeva [ editor@nojustice.info ]