WAR WAGED ON MEN AND FAMILIES
Before the public is fooled yet again into believing that there is a lack of funding for women's transition houses ("Women Fleeing Abuse Holed Up in Cheap Hotels", Nov. 5-11, 1998), let me point out a few facts:
Men have never had such places to take their children to when trying to escape the abuse of violent women. Many men who have desperately tried to defend their children from an abusive mother were themselves arrested for kidnapping or assault and never allowed to see their children again.
Largely, this occurs because of the brainwashing in our society, which refuses to recognize and deal with the fact that women can be violent in relationships. No less than 70 studies have proven that women are responsible for at least half of all domestic assaults, and more than 40% of spousal homicides.
In addition, we have obtained personal testimony to the fact that the majority of women in local transition houses are there because of verbal arguments, not physical assau1ts. Our most recent report, from a woman who personally attended a local Victoria shelter, revealed that not one woman had any noticeable physical injuries. She, as well as other reliable sources, reported that staff members at these shelters often tell women to make up stories of physical abuse in order to sway custody and access decisions.
Our group supports the reduction of violence in our society regardless of gender. We support the sincere and unbiased efforts of those who strive to reduce violence for the benefit of all society. We believe that everyone deserves a safe place to raise his or her children.
It is time that we stopped supporting special interest groups, for which the issue of violence has merely become a platform to hog millions in taxpayers' dollars and wage war on men and families.
Michael Jebbett
Regional Director, Victoria Men's Action Network
Published November 26-Dec. 2 1998 (Issue 48, vol. 24) of Monday Magazine, Victoria BC.
Responses!
LETTER NOTHING SHORT OF DISGUSTING
Michael Jebbett's letter (Nov. 26-Dec.. 2, 1998) dismissing transition houses inadvertently raises a seldom asked, yet important question: Why is the onus to leave an abusive relationship placed solely on women?
With the exception of the rare cases in which males who batter are arrested, women and often children are forced to leave behind whatever comfort and security remained in their home to escape further violence, while the offending male's routine is scarcely disrupted.
It was also nothing short of disgusting to read Mr. Jebbett's assertion that women in local transition houses were somehow not abused enough to be staying there. One wonders what degree of visible damage might satisfy Mr. Jebbett. Broken bones? Open wounds? Toe tags?
Women who leave abusive relationships, even if only temporarily, show great courage and have long had to contend with the petty and heartless dismissal of their experience such as that portrayed in Mr. Jebbett's letter.
Minimizing men's violence against women shows a concerted effort to remain ignorant as to the reality of male violence, and this approach is sadly adopted by many men's rights activists.
Mr. Chris Schmidt
Victoria
[Monday Magazine, Dec. 3 - 9 vol 24 issue 49]